"No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast." -W.S. Gilbert
"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee-that will do them in." -anonymous
"Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation." -Howard Scott
"Stoop and you'll be stepped on; stand tall and you'll be shot at." -Carlos A. Urbizo
"You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -Jameas Thurber
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." -Mark Twain
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." -Frank Zappa
"Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it." -Tallulah Bankhead
"You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun." -Al Capone
"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'" -Theodore Roosevelt
"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong." -Oscar Wilde
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking." -H.L. Mencken
"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made." -Jean Giraudoux
"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." -Bill Watterson
"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others." -Ambrose Bierce
"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." -Norm Corbsy
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." -anonymous
"Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings." -George Will
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