With Thanksgiving and the Book Elves’ Great American Turkey Fracas in the rearview mirror, we can start worrying about what they will do for Christmas. A repeat of last year’s Burning Tree Festival seems unlikely, as does any sort of revival of the “Department Store Santa Roundup & Rodeo” of ’09. And, as far as I know, we managed to intercept all the Cat Wrapping videos they ordered on Amazon. There’s no snow in the forecast, so we also don’t have to keep an eye out for any of their notorious “Frieda Does Frosty” pornographic snow scenes on the front lawn. Vigilance remains necessary, though- just this morning UPS delivered 250 squirrel-sized Santa costumes. And a catapult.
I feel just like Captain Kirk when he said-
“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes”.
Have fun with our new catalog!